A new (or not so new) mother in our society is bombarded with advice. Media and lay people, doctors and other kinds of doctors your neighbours friends, aunts, mother, older sister (or heck, even your younger sister!!), second cousin twice removed; anyone you talk to has plenty of advice, admonishment, scary stories and lessons to offer.
When you're thinking of hiring a postpartum doula - you may stop and think: do I really need another expert bossing me around? Doulas aren't experts (or they might be but they check that at the door). Doulas know that when it comes to your baby - you as the parent - are the expert-in-chief. A doula does not expound the virtues of doing this, or exhort you about the evils of that. A doula doesn't scold, or boss or even offer much advice unless asked. Instead a doula supports you - physically, practically, emotionally and socially so that you can settle into your role as expert-in-chief. Sure she strives to be a fount of information when asked (or atleast can look it up for you - or connect you with an expert). Sure she's seen and held plenty of babies and mommies and can suggest things that you could try to help with this or alleiviate that. But at the end of the day - a doula's job is to support you while embark on your own personal path to experthood. Whatever you chose - the doula will support. Note: Obviously - some strongly held views by either parent or doula maynot be condusive to having a particular doula-family match - however, there is likely another doula that would be able work in harmony in that situtation. Also situations where the baby/mother/family are in actual danger are exempt from doula support - obviously.
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Sometimes you might wonder what on earth determines a postpartum doulas fees. Is there a mysterious doula-sorting mechanism that assigns each doula a score? Do luck. chance or random fluctuations in the weather play a role in the price you get quoted? Or you just maybe thinking "Argh! Why are doulas so expensive!!"
Well I'll try and explain a little about how doulas work - and also add the disclaimer that I don't speak for all doulas. We doulas tend to be a fiercely independent bunch (kind of like the moms we work with :)). In addition postpartum doulas have a secret - we secretly believe that the 'something' that we provide is priceless. After all - as anyone who has had a postpartum doula will tell you - the comfort and reassurance that a postpartum doula provides is only disguised as help with dishes and laundry! So there you have it - it's a priceless service, that is felt in the heart and cannot be quantified in terms of money. And yet postpartum doulas are also a tremendously practical bunch! We must make a living, take care of our dependents, save for the future, pay taxes, buy health insurance, business insurance, afford continued training and education, pay association dues, etc etc etc... And so we must charge for our time - that much is clear. Yet we are indepent as - previously stated - and we also have a tendency to be mavericks. We want to offer our services to everyone who asks; but at the same time we are well aware of how valuable the 'something' that we provide is. Hence each doula works with what she needs to support herself, what she can offer in terms of her time and comes up with an amount that she deems is reasonable without pushing her into penury (or into more penury than she can stand). Thus we all have slightly different rates, different flexibilities with our rates and it all seems a little magical and mysterious. It's not and it is. |
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